hopelessly crunched for time.

Clearly I haven't written in a while, and for that I apologize. (Even though I know no one reads this blog anyway.) I feel like life is catching up with me too fast latley, and I feel like all the important things that I love have been swept to the sidelines in order to make room for the important things that I dread. I can't remember the last time I read a book, or drew a picture, or spent time with my family even. I miss those things.

I've been dreaming, dreaming of running away from this life to a life of bliss, almost every night. This blissful life is filled with all of the things that I love to do, and I would never have to work for any of them. I'm not complaining about this life really, I feel better when I work for my dreams as apposed to having them handed to me, but I am merely dreaming. Scratch that - hopelessly dreaming, of a life where one never had to work, and there was an abundance of time for the really fulfilling things. But that is one of the few things I've written of so far that is positively hopeless.

The idea and notions of life itself and the way society molds everyone's lives into makes me cringe though. Over half of the population will never become rich enough to really do any of the things that make them happy. Sure you can find a job that makes you happy, but I just don't see work as happiness. Happiness for me is traveling, writing, singing, dancing, spending time with loved ones, relaxing, etc.. Most of those things can be combined into a job setting, but will still be combined with negative aspects, or things that you don't like to do. I've never heard of anyone loving every single thing about their job, because there are always drawbacks.

For me, when I picture my life in the future or what my dream job is, I cant. My dream would be to not have a job, and just enjoy my life. Because as soon as you turn it into a job, it's less enjoyable. Obviously it's not a realistic notion, but hence my frustration with reality. I wish life was simpler. Or at least mine.

I've been hectically busy with dreadful tasks latley. How do normal people find motivation to go through life carrying out the tasks in which they despise? It has my mind boggled. Of course I've done it before, and I am continuing to do the things that I need to do, but I become less motivated each day to carry on, and closer to throwing in the towel.

I think I just need a break, a coffee and a good read on the patio. But life would be fortunate if I had time for that. I guess I'll just stay "hopelessly crunched for time", until I get it.